DNFing Books

For those who don't know, the term DNF stands for “did not finish” in the book world. Granted, i only learned of this term a few years ago. It occurs any time you decide continuing a book or series is not worth your time or effort and you move on to something else. Hopefully, something better. This only works, of course, if you are willing to give up on a book.

This is where I struggle. For as long as I can remember, I've had to finish every book I start. I read every page, every line, every word, like not doing so is somehow an insult to the author or a sign of weakness or carelessness in me as a person. If I pick up a book, I have to finish it, even if it takes me months to get through (I'm looking at you, Milton's Paradise Lost). For someone who reads a lot, or even someone who has a lot of school projects to get through, this easily becomes a problem.

Forcing myself to read things that I don't enjoy or find interesting usually does one of two things for me. I either fall into a reading slump where I don't want to pick anything else up because I'm exhausted from reading, or I will keep the book on my currently reading shelf and just let it sit there, reminding me I've failed as a reader. Obviously this is ridiculous, tense the need to DNF a book. But again, I find it hard to do because it makes me feel guilty. In the end, I usually push through most of the books and end up grouchy because of it.

I've been trying to teach myself it's okay to give up on a book. There's nothing that says I can't try again later and there are too many things to read in this world without trudging through the bad and boring books I've picked up one way or another.

Some of the recent books that I've had to DNF include:

• Lockdown by Alexander Gordon Smith. This looked interesting when I picked it up. Apocalyptic, survival, things not being how they seem. I read one chapter and realized the style alone made me hate it. I put it down and have no regrets.
• The Power by Naomi Alderman. This was for a book club I was in. The premise was interesting: what if every woman on earth suddenly had superpowers? What turned me off was the lack of subtlety. If I'm going to read something that is a reflection of society, I want to feel clever, that ‘ah ha’ moment as thing click. This book is more interested in holding up a big mirror and beating you over the head with it. Granted, a friend really liked this book so to each their own.
• What She Ate by Laura Sharpo. I weirdly love books about food and how it affects people and cultures. Michael Pollen is a personal favorite and when I read the description for this book, that's what I thought I was getting into. Instead, I got the stories of six white women and how their relationships with men went with food thrown in. I muscled through about half of this book before giving up.
• Fearless by Sarah Tarkoff. I got this book as a giveaway on Goodreads. It sounded interesting, like a slightly more fantasy based Hunger Games. I started it. I got a few chapters in. And I put it down. I didn’t care for the characters, the world wasn’t really well developed, and the TV episode cliffhanger style chapters annoyed me, especially with the narrator’s constant “If only i’d known things would get worse.” It’s a style that grates on me and I can’t bring myself to sludge through it.
• Attila the Hun by John Man. I was reading this book in March. I’ll get an actual review up here soon, but the short version of my rant is this: do not write long winded fluff that has no point or relevance to the topic at hand, especially if it’s nothing more than padding to make your book longer. It took 6 chapters (about 160 pages) for him to even feature Attila and then as soon as he starts talking about the battle that would lead to Attila’s death, he interrupts everything to tell us about the little town and the bakery that he visited while looking for the place the battle was believed to happen. It was the straw that broke the camel’s back. I couldn’t deal with his shifting focus, unclear narration, and pointless anecdotes anymore.

I’m happy with myself for being able to DNF these books. I think it’ll make things better in the long run. At the same time, I still feel bad. I get excited for each new thing i’m going to be reading and to be so uninterested or disappointed or annoyed by a book that I don’t want to touch it again is absolutely heartbreaking. I don’t like admitting defeat in something I choose to put myself through but sometimes it’s necessary.

Are there any books that you’ve had to DNF for your own sanity? Do you find it easy or difficult? Do you have any tips? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments.